The Struggle…

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You struggle. Each day, every day. With people around you, near and dear to you.
The struggle is about everyday and everything.
The struggle is about basic little things like having to justify liking a cup of coffee because?
The struggle is to whether or not stay hidden in a cocoon.
The struggle is about letting you be.
The struggle is about liking your loneliness.
The struggle the about breaking free.
The struggle is whether or not to accept the freedom.
The struggle is about understanding what freedom really means.
The struggle is about proving yourself that you are worth it.
The struggle is to prove that you belong.
The struggle is about existing.
The struggle is to prove your existence.
The struggle is about proving to the world that you mean something.
The struggle is about your relevance. Mostly to yourself.
The struggle is real.
The struggle is meaningless.
The struggle is inside you.
The struggle is by you, for you.
Stop the struggle, to breathe and to live.

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!

Embracing Melancholy…

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Well, observation: we sometimes, kind of tend to crave for sadness. Have you ever thought that probably melancholy is what drives us, pulls us closer? We blame a lot of things on sadness. Or rather we blame our sadness on a lot of things. But we forget that ‘life’ never stops happening and we never stop entangling ourselves in the complicated web built right around our sadness. On the outside it could feel as if we are trying to push through and feel better but in reality we like the pain. Sensing a frown on your forehead? Well, that’s because you may have considered sadness to be an alien which affects your happiness.

Why I say that? Because sadness is real. It’s close to the heart and you can really feel it. Happiness is real too, but more artificial. It goes away, it subsides. Pain, however, stays. It leaves its essence or impression even when it’s gone. You remember every moment of your pain unlike your happy moments. You can pretend to be happy but you can’t pretend to be really sad. It shows if you do, really.

Oh! And please don’t confuse it with depression. That’s a different thing altogether. If you are sad, you are sad. Not depressed.

We say that happiness doesn’t last long. It feels instantaneous, because it is instantaneous. You feel there are fewer happy moments in your life because we don’t dwell in them. We tend to dwell in our sadness more than we dwell in our happiness. You can hide your sadness behind happiness, but seldom can you do vice versa. Happiness has to show to seem real. While sadness is more personal, more intimate, more close to our heart and close to what you are. Like it or not, accept it or not, but that’s the reality. Some truths are hard to digest even though we experience them strongly every day and every moment of our lives.

What do you do about it? Nothing. Just let yourself feel the real sadness, without trying to push it away and without trying to counter or cover it with your pretentious happiness. Do this so that you can cherish your happiness better.

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!

Being Friends Forever…

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Jacqueline and Isabella lived in a very nice neighbourhood in Boston, Massachusetts in the US. They stayed in each other’s vicinity, just a block away from each other. Jackie had a younger brother called John, while Ella had an elder brother called Jacob. Both girls weren’t really fond of each other. However, for the lack of company and anyone to play with, they played with each other through their childhood. Their common places to play would be the backyards or front-yards of their houses or the nearby park.

Jackie was strong headed, arrogant and self-obsessed while Ella was soft and introverted. She also looked fragile while Jackie was healthy and plump. The only reason they could get along together was that they were of the same age. Jackie was just a month older than Ella. They had been the best of friends from the moment they set eyes on each other. But they were friends who played together every day. Jackie would usually lead the games they played, the places they went to, or even whether they played or not and Ella would usually give into her plans. She wasn’t much of a leader then and would always prefer to give in instead of arguing.

BFF Forever!

It was all going fine when one day suddenly, they had this huge fight on some silly reason. They had a new girl on the block and Ella started to play with her as well. That meant less time for Jackie to dictate her. Jackie was very upset and told Ella to not play with her. But Ella started to like it more with the new girl and started playing with her more often than with Jackie. Jackie picked up a fight with the new girl and Ella stood by the new girl and against Jackie, which infuriated her even further. After that day, even when both of them passed each other, they never spoke to each other or even looked at each other. They were also not in the same school which worked in their favour of not crossing each other.

Many years passed without them seeing each other in the eye and one fine day, Ella’s parents decided to put her in a different school. This was the same where Jackie went. At first, they continued not talking to each other, until they were partnered on a project. They forgot everything about their fight in the past and became friends again. This worked out for them and they started hanging out again. They were in their teens by this time so they bonded over a lot of things like music, boyfriends, girlfriends, ambitions, and so on. Ella was starting to open up in her teens more. She had started to voice her opinions, while Jackie became less overpowering. They stuck together in high school as well. But soon, it was time for both of them to go to college. They were different people, so their choices were different too.

The two friends went into a different world altogether in college. Their connection broke again. In the meantime, Ella lost her elder brother Jacob in a car accident. She was really close to him and was really broken. She kept to herself, didn’t go out much, didn’t have many friends. Jackie, on the other hand, was trying every piece of new thing coming her way. She was being adventurous and friends with her new college buddies. They were again poles apart. Ella however, had started to become a little harsh by keeping to herself. She didn’t fancy talking to people anymore or being nice to them as she used to. She had become a completely different version of her.

Jacqueline and Isabella had become new versions of themselves and one fine day, their paths crossed. Jackie heard someone arguing smartly with a shopkeeper who tried to steal from an old lady. The voice sounded familiar and she was surprised to see Ella. “Ella, is that you?”, Jackie asked her. Hearing her name, Ella turned to her and instantly recognized Jackie. They then told off the shopkeeper together and headed out for a cup of coffee. Ella told her about Jacob and Jackie felt sorry for her friend. They promised to keep in touch. They were inseparable again. This time they remained connected. They both taught each other different ways from their different worlds. Jackie showed Ella her outwardly ways and also called her in for her adventures, while Ella taught her to be calmer and a better version of herself. Ella had become matured after Jacob’s death as her family now considered her to be the elder in the house. They were each other’s support systems. They didn’t need anyone else when they were together. Ella kept Jackie grounded while Jackie brought Ella’s adventure instincts out. Together Jacqueline and Isabella were the best of friends. Jackie was still more possessive about Ella. She wanted Ella to be all to herself but now she was a matured version of herself. Ella also knew this and tried to give in to certain things which Jackie expected. She would always let Jackie have her way just like she did in their childhood.

Once out of college, both of the girls had to move out for a job. This time there was nothing keeping them away from each other as their bond had become very strong. Irrespective of being in different cities, they would call each other every day and meet almost every weekend. They would also take turns in visiting each other’s parents if the other couldn’t make it. They were like this one big happy family. The day Ella got married, Jackie cried the most. Ella cried looking at no one but Jackie. They knew their lives were going to change, but they also knew that their relationship was stronger than needing any reason to exist in each other’s lives.

Their lives went on and they always stayed connected. Two girls who started to be together because they didn’t have an option, didn’t have an option to separate from each other as destiny had their lives intertwined. Jacqueline and Isabella are still what we call friendship goals.

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!

Advice, Not Decisions…

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“Step into my shoes and then advice.” Do you get this often from someone you are trying to help with your suggestions or expert comments? Well, your intentions are not wrong and you really, genuinely want to help this person. You sure do. But, has it ever occurred to you that maybe, just maybe your solution is not what they might need? No matter what, you are a third person for this situation to get to you, really. You might really want to step into (figuratively, of course) the person’s shoes you are advising and then, maybe, you could get better clarity of what’s really happening. Have you ever felt what the person might be going through? Ok, let’s consider you have been through a similar situation. But, hey, that’s still similar and not the same.

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There are times when you connect with someone so hard, just because you have something very precious in common. Your habits, your likings or maybe your feelings about something or someone in particular. This person is the one who “just gets you”. You don’t even need to explain things to make this person understand your thoughts. Unsaid words are just understood between you. This person knows what you really need and when to hold the horses. Well that’s the only thing really important, isn’t it? Knowing when to stop. We tend to over-suggest sometimes. We frustrate ourselves with the person’s incapability of seeing things as clearly as you do. But why should there be an imposition? Whatever suggestion you are making, if the person takes it, it is going to affect their lives, not yours. So, why such an annoyance when the person takes his/her time in contemplating whether your suggestions are going to work for them or no?

“It’s easier said than done.” This is something we get often too. Work problems? Quit the job. Annoying boss? Tell him off. Got groped in public? Show the asshole his place. Broke up or got separated? Move on, date someone else. Sometimes, if things happen out of the blue and when you are not expecting them, some brains take time to even register something of this sort could happen. There’s no point forcing things down people’s throat. Everyone needs their time. Not like they don’t know what’s best for them. Well, in fact, everyone knows deep down what’s best for them. But sometimes you are too clung on to things for you to get clarity in your head to do the right thing. It happens when it has to happen.

Giving ideas, throwing suggestions is easy. Implementing them is difficult. Sometimes you just have to hear it out and not suggest anything. Instead, think about how you can make the situation lighter and shower more love on the person to help them make space for clarity. In a moving life, it’s not possible to start over something. But it’s just possible to not rush to things just because you have to flush the difficulties, right? Seeing your loved ones, the ones you care for, in trouble, is difficult. But you need to do something which is more difficult than that – give them time. Just suggest, and let them make their own decisions.

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!

It’s all about a little effort…

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Taking people for granted is something that comes to us humans very naturally. In the times of our parents or our ancestors, people would care about others’ feelings, while today’s generation is more focused on keeping themselves happy. Our lives revolve around our careers, our people, and having fun. When I include our people, I mean they being around us and making us feel happy. But, what do we do to make sure they want to be in our lives? Do we put in any efforts to please them, to keep them happy, to make them feel wanted?

Being in a career oriented or a focused generation, we involve ourselves completely in pleasing our managers, our bosses, our seniors, and every soul who we think will ensure a boost in our career. We do this irrespective of being anyone, from a corporate employee to a businessman. Jahase munafa, waha pe focus aur efforts. While that’s our priority, the close ones in our lives are more of a support system. They are assumed to be “always there”. We expect them to rejoice our victories, alleviate our pain or failures, they are expected to always “understand”. Whether we do that in return is never thought about.

There’s not much that is needed. Only an attempt at putting in some minuscule efforts in making them feel they are a part of everything we do. If you say you do it, try recollecting the last time you said ‘I love you’ to your wife, or your mother, your children or even your father. It’s that basic. The smile that you get is priceless. It’s all about putting that conscious effort. And please don’t say that you do it on their birthdays or some special occasions. These days are a mandate and it’s a basic expectation that you need to make them feel special. But is that enough? What if you are fed a special dinner only on your birthday and the rest of the days you are made to eat daal chawal. Would that suffice? Wouldn’t you expect exciting food to be cooked over weekends? Many people crib about boring food cooked for dinner, saying after a long tiring day the least they expect is some good food. So, if you can’t deal with monotony every day and expect things to be done apart from your birthdays or special occasions, why can’t your loved ones expect you to shower some love every day?

They are supposed to understand our moods, our tiredness, our irritation and anger. But don’t you think the main reason they are in our lives is to make these feelings go away? Isn’t the reason we have them in our lives is to make us feel happy about our lives? Of course you need your space some times or rather most of the times. But shoving them away or yelling at them is not the solution. Or rather that’s the most stupid thing to do. Our generation is very low on patience. When they are trying to make an effort, we don’t return that effort. Instead we make it more difficult for them by being impatient and increase their irritation. Don’t forget, they have their own lives, their own irritations, their own problems that they are dealing with. Probably not letting you know about them inorder to not increase your stress. But do you do that too? Or do you tend to increase their irritation and stress? Share your problems, share your thoughts. That way they won’t be wondering what went wrong that you are not talking to them or what did they do to irritate you. The distance between two beds is the longest distance and it takes a lot to reduce this distance.

We take relationships very casually. Our parents are the most neglected people in our lives. Unfortunately, it’s too late by the time we understand this. Especially our fathers. They are always invisible. But when they are gone, we feel them the most. We think they are here to stay, but imagine a day when you had a fight with the person you love the most in your life, which you could have easily avoided by being a little patient and understanding. You still have that anger filled in your head with all the heated conversation so you don’t talk to each other. This loved one meets with an accident an dies. Can you imagine the feeling when you come to know the last thing you said to this person was so nasty, you could kill yourself for that? All your memories would be clouded just with that one thought. Imagine living with this hole in your heart. If you live each day with this feeling in your heart and the thought in your mind, you will start caring more. Better later than never right? Why don’t we start caring about our people from this moment on and say that we love them from the deepest corners of our heart? Do that little something that makes them happy and brings a smile on their faces. It’s all about putting that little effort. Try it?

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!

The mountain story…

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I like mountains, I like the sun rays playing with the clouds on these mountains. I like the wind blowing in my hair, when I’m standing atop one, and the whizzing sound ringing my ears. I like the peace that the valleys bring. The fear that grips your heart when you look down into the dark invisible distance.

I like to just sit there in that silence, with my ears ringing and the cool breeze on my face, watching the clouds change shape and cover the mountains, the haze that covers the sun, changing the scenery. I like it when this change in the scenery cools down everything around me and the cold wind blows into the trees, rustling the leaves and making their presence felt. They are my companion, they are the only witness of this nature’s play. We stay there in silence, watching the sky change its color and the mountains change their shade.

I like staying in the mountains, watching them play with the sun, the wind, the clouds, and the sky.

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!

Negativity is overrated…

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Life never said it was easy. People just assume that it was supposed to be. Cribbing is fun and helpful if it’s temporary and you know that you are doing it just to vent out. It’s no more fun when it’s the real deal and you are going on and on about it. Sometimes, we just have to let things go.

Let things go. As difficult in real life as easy it is to say out loud. Something like easier said than done? Ya, that. However, there are ways to ‘let things go’. Like, stop reacting. Instead of making it a big deal, which it already is for a fact, just stop announcing it or saying things like ‘it’s just a bad day’. Saying things out loud some times starts to make us believe in them. I don’t know how many of you have read the ‘Power of your subconscious mind’ or the ‘Power of positive thinking’. And however ridiculous or surreal it may sound, but believe me, that shit really works.

Sometimes life is just mean for no reason. Whatever you want, how much ever you try, things just won’t work how you want them to. But you can’t help it, can you? At such times, patience is the key. Try to not let things affect you. First step is to not think about the bad/sad things that you are going through. You might just be in a new phase of life and things must just be taking its own sweet time to settle in. You know, similar to the situation when you have a new wallet and you suddenly seem to be losing all the money and no savings happen? Well, you just wait for some time for your wallet to get adjusted to you, and then, suddenly you realize that it’s saving for you. Has something like that happened to you? Or maybe it’s just me. Or maybe this is just a bad example. What I really mean is, it’s OK to have a bad day. Just like you take time to adjust to things – good or bad – things take time to get used to you.

Sometimes it’s just smart to not think about things. Especially, the bad ones that you are undergoing. It maybe just your life adjusting to the new systems it has placed. Instead, focus on what you are learning through the bad phase. If nothing, you’ll have a better patience threshold.

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!

The Wandering Soul…

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She was like the wind. She would go places, touching and soothing each soul

She was like the butterfly, sucking nectar from the flowers

She was like the sunshine, brightening up her surroundings

She was a loner, a happy loner. Creating magic in every moment

Only that her happiness was short lived

She was burdened with the glorious purpose

The expectations, the people, life in general, was ruthless, and wouldn’t suit her

Her grace died with her involvement in life and she couldn’t revive

Only memories remain of the moments she spread happiness in

Now, she would just exist; exist as an entity and not like a living life

She would just cherish the memories; her and the souls whom she had touched with her sweet nectar

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!

Ek Cup Chai…

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They often met in the evening over dinner or just a cup of tea. Talked about their day, vented out their frustrations, or sometimes just acted foolish and made fun of each other. They found this better than directly heading back home. After their meet they would head home, content. In love all over again, they would catch up on some sound sleep, holding each other.

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They hadn’t met for days. Although, both kept blaming their busy schedules, it was more of a juggle of taking each other for granted with prioritizing their time. They were growing frustrated, impatient and kept losing it on each other.
One day, after an unnecessary argument, they lay beside each other as usual, this time their faces turned to opposite directions. While lying there, one of them thought it was high time they met. Next day, a date was fixed for just a cup of tea. However late, none of them was allowed to give any excuses.
That evening, they had the best conversation and the best time ever, a long time after their marriage, over Ek Cup Chai.

This goes out to all the married couples out there. After the first year of marriage, that is once your honeymoon period is over, that’s when you feel the change. You start settling in and taking your better half for granted. Change is when you feel different, change is when you don’t want the monotone, change is when you feel you need to be different. Love always grows, it is never stagnant. Marriage shouldn’t be an excuse to end things, it gives you even more reasons to love each other, do more things to show your love and come closer.  Playing around your pretty little secrets, things you like to do for each other, skipping certain plans just to spend time with each other, all this counts as much after marriage and just because you are married doesn’t mean you need to be all serious and should stop doing things. That desire of wanting to be around your person all the time, the excitement of wanting your love to be the first one to know about something that happened – be it the silliest of things, going beyond your limits to do something to make your partner happy, you live on all such moments.

To keep your relationship healthy, it is all the more important for you to have healthy conversations and keep time off for each other. What is more important is, to understand when the other needs space. Although you are partners, you are two different individuals and it is important to respect that you might not like the same things. You compromise, which is a different thing but the adjustments should be noted and returned as well.

Love is really not as complicated as they make it look like. It is the most beautiful, the purest and simplest of things. It just needs you to keep loving and things fall in place on their own, effortlessly.

Love is happiness, and happiness is the time you take out for just Ek Cup Chai…

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!

The teen age diaries…

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Diary 1

I’m 16 and I have all the reasons to hate my life. Nothing is right, things are just haywire. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to do something in life.
My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday. He said he liked Sonia more, said she is more beautiful and fun loving than I am.
My parents don’t understand me, all they do is keep fighting with me and treating me like a child. They just can’t even get me that iPhone I asked them for my birthday. They mess things up all the time and just don’t let me go out with my friends for any plans to a nightclub or sleepover. It feels like I’m on a house arrest!
My friends don’t like my FB or Insta posts anymore because I don’t hang out with them.
I have always been the best and still people expect so much from me. No one loves me. There is nothing in my life worth living.

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Diary 2

I’m 16 and I have so many things to look forward to! I have so many things to do in life.
I’m one step closer to the career path I chose and fulfill my parents’ expectations.
They love me so much! My dad got me a new pen yesterday and I’m so excited to use it for my first day at college! Life is so much easier with them around. They are always there to show me the difference between right and wrong. If I come home late, they both panic and don’t sleep until I’m home. So much care can make anyone feel responsible! They let me take my own decisions and leave my decisions up to me, of course under their guidance 
My friends are the best! We keep doing such fun stuff and learning new things. We discuss anything and everything – about our careers, politics, movies, books, boyfriends, girlfriends, life ahead and so much more!
I have the best life and I wish to become a better person some day.

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!