Diamonds In The Coal

There are all kinds of people whom we encounter in our lives. Some good, some bad, annoying, happening and what not. All these judgements by the way are particularly personal perceptions. When we call a person annoying it’s not him but our perception about him or her. Some might find the person amusing too. It is just about how we look at things. Sometime you don’t give a darn about a person but he or she makes it a point to stand by you. Let’s consider our parents for instance. They may not like certain things we do or don’t but when in need they are surely the ones to stand by our side without any ado. It happens that somehow we start taking certain people for granted and slowly start turning a blind eye and a deaf ear to everything they do or say.

Not just our parents but many people in general who are close to us or, kind of, care about what we do and don’t with our lives. We do not like some people. The way they talk, live, behave with us or anyone. They might have some annoying habits which tend to keep you off them but then there is what they feel for you. How much every you blame them, repel them, say all the possible worst things on the earth to them but they never budge. They stick with you all the way long. They offer you help and say “I’m there. You are my friend after all.” No matter how bad you have been to them prior to this. Things somehow never tend to bother them. Of course they must get hurt but somehow they have the strongest will power and firmest belief on their friendship or if not a friend their relationship.

That person can be anyone from a parent, a friend to a partner in life. There are people or couples you clash in life and wonder “How can he/she bear this? I would have kicked the hell out of the so and so person.” But that’s them and here are you. They have a strong endurance and tolerance but what is important is that you need to understand this at some point of time and really need to treat them right. If they were stuck to you in your thick and thin without expecting anything then they definitely deserve at least something, be it even some little thing that you can do. There is no point telling them to back off. Instead, you need to make a move and understand why do you find them so annoying? Is it their love, constant care, interference or what? You need to point out and try discussing things out. In some situations the person is not even someone close to you but they still keep on nagging. Obviously if you are someone who doesn’t like to open up to everyone and share everything with everyone, you will find it pesky. But then you need to drag the line yourself and try to explain things and sort them. Mind you, you need them more than they need you.

I mean, look at yourself. Are you that perfect? Don’t you yourself have any annoying habits which others might not stand? Come on nobody is perfect so evidently you are not an exception as well eh? You need to remind yourself that when you show someone down you are under the depths for someone yourself. It is not everyday that you get lucky with having someone to count on no matter what you do. So next time before repelling them or hurting them in any manner think about how they stick to you with all your faults and be with you no matter what blunder you yourself are. Trust me you won't need a lot of efforts as they really don’t expect much. All they need is the same love in response to the love they hold for you. Affordable right?

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!

Emerging Out Of Confusion And Complications

We keep pleasing everyone in life; starting with ourselves. Rather that’s the main motto behind everything. We please everyone to please ourselves. Everything in this world comes with a cost; especially happiness. If people around us are happy so are we. That is only until we tend to become indifferent towards everything. But the fact is indifference is the biggest lie. You simply cannot give a damn to things even if you say you do or you might as well behave so but frankly you never actually do that. It always matters what someone has to talk about us. Come on, no one likes to hear anything bad about themselves. We always wish to be in the good pages. And if something makes us not be on the good side, then starts the trail of explanations and justifications.

Life is so complicated, isn’t it? Well, actually it isn’t but somehow things make a huge chaos around and then everything starts looking like a maze. We confuse ourselves with what is right, what is wrong and mainly what is right to be done and wrong to be done. There is a difference between these two. There is a difference between what is right and what is right to be done. What you do sometimes might seem wrong at a point but it may be the right thing to do given, the situation, the circumstances and the right state of mind. No decisions can turn out right when taken on impulse. But there are times when certain decisions have to be taken on sheer impulse. So would you call them wrong? Not at all, they are right for that time. We are so judgmental about everything; about people, about things, about our futures and of course about ourselves. Why can’t things simply stay at their pace? But that is what human life is for. We hurt, get hurt, we are happy, make people happy. We regret, feel bad, we feel good too. There is a reason we are not born alone in this world. There is a reason we are populated because that’s what we have to learn, to live with people. You cannot simply keep yourself out of the crowd and try to get along. That is one reason you tend to please them every now and then. But is that the right things to do?

Every interaction, every meet with a new person gets us closer to knowing the world in our own way. The number of people evacuated from our lives gets replaced by the same number of people on our list again. Looking back in our lives we understand so many things that we should have done and those we shouldn’t have. But at that very moment when they were done, they felt just right didn’t they? So, perfect. What is gone is gone and things are not going to change. The only care to be taken is to see that no mistakes are repeated and one important thing is not to forgive ourselves for those mistakes. It is true that we tend to forgive ourselves a lot more easily than others. Once forgiven, things are taken for granted. The moment we start to become strict with ourselves that is the time we learn to be firm and thoughtful about our every move. Yes it is hell difficult. But no matter what, you can be sure of things and be the one to do the right thing, virtually or practically.

Sometimes we also tend to be selfish and think about nothing but our own self. Everything but us seems wrong. You need to sit and think on such occasions. No reaction is the best reaction at times. This way we can keep others as well as ourselves happy. If you don’t feel right it’s ok. It is not a compulsion to go and shout to the world how bad you feel or how good you feel. You live for yourself and not for attention. If pleasing others makes you feel happy, be it. But your happiness is your own. Everything does not need to be known everywhere. We just have to get along with the world, not live with it. The more we run behind things the more they tend to get away from us. Respect is what gets affected here. Respect is definitely not a joke, it is something really, really important and you better not play with it. It is something which decides the behavior about you. The world is like a boomerang, everything which goes comes back again. Why not stay where we are and let physics do its job?

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf…!

Knowing Yourself...

You have things in life, your life, that define you. Some things which make you, You. Why is it so difficult to understand that you live and lead your life only for yourself and not for some third person? No one at all. Anyway let us not get there. What I want to say is how well do you know yourself? How many of you face trouble with the simplest question like "Tell me about yourself?" and the first thing you start with is "Ummm..ok"?

If you did face this problem and have overcome it here is my applause of appreciation! If you still have this problem with answering this question, Wow! That means you know and remember everything since birth yet you have not been able to decipher your own self. Well now that is an issue. We learn everything everywhere. But the most important thing we got to learn is about ourself. We keep running blindly in the midst of a dessert searching for that one oasis to help us get some strength. What if we already knew about the path we were taking? Won't that be even better? Of course it would. Knowing about ourselves helps us know where we want to reach and where we want to see ourselves destined. We work our path out gradually and move along.

We are aware of simple things say like our food choices, clothing choices and other preferences. But then is that enough to define oneself? Sometimes yes. But only if these choices are our own. It happens that few of our preferences are grown over the choices that our surrounding people make. Our parents, friends and all the people whom we consider to be the best are the most influential people around. Agreed they always think for your betterment and goodness but that doesn't mean they own you or rule you. They are not the ones to tell you what You like and don't. It is totally Your personal choice. No matter what happens if I like cheese and you don't, you won't how much ever close or beloved we are. So there is no point doing anything against your will for someone, anyone.

With all this, remember one thing that you are not being genuine to the person either. What the person sees here is someone who is not oneself! The person interacting is someone whom the person himself doesn't know! Now that my darling is lame and unacceptable. You are being fake knowingly or unknowingly. Respecting your choice will make others respect them too. Also if you do not respect your own choices I wonder how you can even respect someone else's choices. It's not that difficult you know, making choices and sticking by them. You need to confide in yourself with everything that you do. To know the world it is more important that you know yourself. That is how you can live, that is exactly how you can protect yourself or free yourself too. Life is not meant to live on someone else's rules. You make and break your life so you make and break the rules too but on your own risk and then no one to blame for the same. Life is simple. Keep it so.

Cheers to you, cheers to lyf...!